It’s hard enough when the people you love are judging you, but it can be even more upsetting when they’re your own spouse. You might not want to take their judgment personally and make them feel as though they’ve hurt you or that their opinion is the only one that matters, but it’s important to try not to argue or defend yourself. This may sound counter-intuitive!
Instead, you need to focus on understanding his feelings and why he might be feeling this way.
Don’t take His judgment personally
Stop judging yourself. When your spouse is judging you, it can be easy to take their words and actions personally. However, it’s important to remember that their judgments are most likely based on their own views and experiences, not on anything that has to do with you.
So don’t let your spouse’s judgments get you down; focus on being the best version of yourself that you can.
Try not to argue or be defensive in a confrontation
When your spouse is judging you, it is natural to feel as though you need to argue or defend yourself. However, doing so will only make the situation worse.
Instead, try to listen to what your spouse is saying and understand their point of view. This can be difficult, but it’s important to try to see things from their perspective. You don’t have to agree with it, but you must demonstrate that you have listened and attempted to understand his point of view. This will lay the groundwork for resolving the issue!
don’t criticize your husband in retaliation
Although you will be tempted to fight back by criticizing your husband in return, it’s important not to.
Try to be understanding and supportive instead. Let your husband know that you understand how he’s feeling, and offer any support. By diffusing the situation you are laying the groundwork to be able to have a serious discussion about your own needs and expectations from your husband.
Don’t speak in a demeaning or belittling tone of voice
When you’re responding to your husband, it’s important to remember not to speak in a demeaning or belittling tone of voice, or be judgmental in return. If he hears you respond in this way it will only make him more defensive and less inclined to listen to your viewpoint.
Try to use “I” statements. In order to avoid coming across as judgmental, it’s important to use “I” statements when you’re expressing your feelings instead of “You” statements. For example, instead of saying “You’re always judging me,” you could say “I feel like you’re always judging me.” This will help him to see your perspective without feeling attacked.
Acknowledge their feelings and validate them
Your husband is judging you and it’s hard, but try to understand their feelings and why they might be feeling that way. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand. This will make it more likely that your husband will be open to hearing your own point of view.
Talk about it!
One of the most important things you can do when your husband is judging you is to get yourself in a position where you can have a serious talk about it. Once you have followed the steps above you will be in a better place to have a serious conversation about why they’re feeling this way and what you can do to change the situation whilst enabling your husband to take your perspective into account.
Explain your feelings
When your husband is being judgmental, it’s important to tell him what you feel. Remember to use “I” statements we discussed above and not get angry. When your husband is in the right place to hear how his judgments make you feel, he is likely to be more understanding and willing to work on the issue. Explain to him that you feel like he is not considering the emotional impact his judgmental attitude has on you how that hurts.
Be patient
Being patient is key when it comes to getting your husband to stop judging you. It may take him some time (and some work on your part!) to get him to change his perspective. But eventually, he will hopefully start to see things from your perspective and make an effort to change his behavior.
Set boundaries
If your husband is being judgmental, one way to help stop this behavior is to set boundaries. Boundaries are rules that you and your husband agree upon that help define what is acceptable and what is not. If your husband breaks a boundary, there will be consequences. For example, you might agree that if he judges you, he will have to do the dishes for a week!
Come to a resolution
When your husband is being judgmental, it can be difficult to feel like things will ever get better. However, by following the steps listed above you can set the groundwork for a resolution. This means that you and your husband can sit down and discuss the issue in a calm and constructive manner. During this discussion, it’s important to focus on how you can both work to change the situation. Ideally, by following these steps you and your husband will be able to come to a resolution that stops him from judging you in the future.
Accept that he’s not perfect – but you’re not either!
No one is perfect, and that includes your husband. He’s bound to make mistakes and judge you from time to time. The important thing is to not let those judgments hurt you. Remember that you’re not perfect either, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Accept that your husband is human and will make mistakes, but if he loves you and is just trying to do what he thinks is best, you will need to forgive him for the occasional lapse and continue to work on it with him.
Not only do you need to acknowledge that neither of you is perfect but you and your husband are both different, and that’s okay! You don’t have to be like everyone else.; it’s important to be yourself and to communicate to your husband that it’s so important to let you be yourself.
FAQ
Q: I think my husband is judging me, what should I do?
A: If you think your husband is judging you, the first step is to communicate with him. Talk about how his judgments make you feel and try to understand why he might be feeling that way. It’s also important to set boundaries and be patient as he may need some time to change his perspective.
Q: How can I get my husband to stop criticizing me?
A: You can get your husband to stop criticizing you by communicating with him, setting boundaries, and being patient. Talk about how his judgments make you feel and try to understand why he might be feeling that way. Once you have done this, you can set boundaries that will help him stop criticizing you. Remember, nobody is perfect, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself!
Q: My husband is always judging me, what can I do to change his perspective?
A: If your husband is always judging you, it’s important to talk with him about how his judgments make you feel. Try to understand why he might be feeling that way and set boundaries that will help him change his perspective. It’s also important to accept that neither of you is perfect and to be yourself. Communicate this to your husband and let him know how important it is for you to be yourself.
